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[Megathread] XMG APEX 15 with AMD Ryzen Desktop CPU

Hi guys,
This is it.
Following the reporting from CES from LinusTechTips (The CRAZY laptop manufacturer you've never heard of...) and Jarrod’s Tech (12 CPU Cores In A Laptop!?), we are happy to announce the launch of our new XMG APEX 15.


All reviews so far:
(to be continued)

Related threads

This is a list of on-going, updated threads:


AMD has been on the rise with Desktop CPUs that are able to beat some of Intel’s models in terms of raw multi-threaded computing power for a similar or even a smaller price. At the same time, Intel has been struggling with meeting the market demands, having switched too many fabs to a troublesome 10nm process, falling behind on delivering the quantity of 14nm chips including bestsellers like i7-9750H in Q4 2019. For us OEMs, this often resulted in longer lead-times, more complicated logistics (pulling material from multiple sources) and stretches of time where some of our most demanded laptops were not in stock. With the current COVID-19 crisis, we expect the supply to continue to be tight in 2020. So – we’ll have to diversify our sourcing.
With appropriate timing, we welcome the fact that AMD is committed to supporting not only the biggest of manufacturers but also smaller Local OEMs like us through our ODM partners in Taiwan.
We recently released the brand new SCHENKER VIA 15 with AMD Picasso CPU (AMD Ryzen 5 3500U) - a nice, well-rounded package with an ultra-light Magnesium Chassis, a huge 91Wh battery for All Day Battery Life and a respectable I/O port distribution including Full-Size HDMI, multiple USB-A ports and the good old RJ45 Ethernet Port. We rounded it off by exposing nearly every AMD expert option in the BIOS, giving seasoned users something to play around with.
Today we launch a fully-fledged, affordable gaming laptop with a full-sized, standard AM4-Socket which will house Desktop CPUs up to the 12-core CPU named AMD Ryzen 9 3900, rated at 65W TDP. This multi-threading behemoth of a laptop has been developed by our friends in Taiwan with whom our company shares a partnership going back 25 years. While our ODMs are making their own decisions in R&D, their product strategy is heavily influenced by the feedback and proposals of their customers. Through their key partners in various regions (like XMG in Europe and Eluktronics in the U.S.) they actively listen to the community and always strife to take further suggestions for upgrades and fine-tuning into account, despite some often very tight release schedules.
The XMG APEX 15 is based on the NH57AF1 barebone. The NH series has been around for a while already and has been built in a variety of segments, from pure CPU-driven workstations with Intel Graphics (SCHENKER WORK 15 and WORK 17) up to mid-range gaming laptops with i7-9750H and RTX 2060 Max-P. Therefore, the NH series is already tried and proven with a mature manufacturing process, without any 1st gen hiccups. Now it was time for an upgrade.
With the upcoming re-release of NH series with AMD Desktop CPU, our ODM and XMG will again make their mark in the PC/Laptop industry by being the first to build a gaming laptop with AMD AM4 Socket and RTX graphics.
Building such a gaming laptop has multiple advantages:
This thread will now cover specs and FAQ for XMG APEX 15. Feel free to ask any questions in the comments below.

Sweet pictures from outside and inside

Check out these sweet pictures:
(Outside pictures are 3D renders. Inside 1 & 2 from Engineering Sample. 3 to 4 from Mass Production unit, production month April 2020.)


Some key features of XMG APEX 15

Variations / Factory Options

Our ODM is building this laptop with different variations and some other features will depend on the brand.
Chassis-Design: Our ODM is offering this chassis in 4 different variations.
The features, mechanical engineering and mainboard layout are identical on each one of these – the chassis is purely about cosmetics and haptics. We picked the NH57 variation because it’s the only one where the LCD lid is made from metal. You can really feel the difference – it’s a much more quality / high-end feeling. NH55 was a close contender but it was covered in a semi-glossy IMR coating which is a bit too prone to collect fingerprints – it looks more matte on the pictures than in real-life.
Overall, the NH57 is the best choice, even though it costs a couple of dollars more in production.
Fingerprint-Reader: the F/P Reader is situated in the top left corner of the touchpad when you order XMG APEX 15. Other brands might not offer this convenient feature.
TPM: the ODM usually offers the mainboard with either dedicated TPM (dTPM) or with a Firmware TPM implementation (fTPM). In Intel, the fTPM is called Intel PTT. AMD does not seem to have a specific marketing name for their own fTPM solution. Regardless, we are building XMG APEX 15 with dedicated TPM 2.0 from Infineon.
Keyboard Layouts: our ODM has their own unique keyboard design – love it or hate it. We at XMG make our own keyboard layouts and our layout for this model will differ from the ODM standard. The keyboard in this model is the same as in previous XMG PRO so the layouts have already been drawn for over 20 keyboard languages for the pan-European market.
RAM: AMD Ryzen can go up to 3200MHz, but the modules need to be able to support this spec natively. The NH series does not support XMP memory profiles. In our FAQ we will keep a list of memory modules that are guaranteed to give you the 3200MHz memory speed. For price-sensitive buyers, we also offer a 2666MHz budget option. According to our tests, the performance gap between is about 5% on Ryzen 5 3600 but only 2% on Ryzen 9 3900.
LCD: the NH series is available with 3 different panel specs: 60Hz with either 45% or 72% NTSC Gamut and the 144Hz top spec, likewise with 72% NTSC. We are committed to build all XMG APEX 15 with the best available LCD panel. More info on LCD panels are in the FAQ below.
BIOS: our ODM’s standard BIOS usually only comes with a minimal amount of options and features. We have worked with our ODM to extend those options to deliver as many expert tuning options as reasonably possible. This includes various Undervolting options. This fully unlocked expert BIOS is not released for public yet (read more). At the same time, XMG APEX 15 can also be tweaked with ZenStates.
Brand: we offer a fully debranded option where your laptop will remain completely blank with no printing and no laser-etching on any of the surfaces. Our brand will only remain on the rating label and in the BIOS boot logo. On top of that, all XMG and SCHENKER models are delivered without any stickers (Intel, AMD, NVIDIA, HDMI etc.) on the palm rest area. Where possible, the stickers will be put into the shipping package for your personal usage.

XMG APEX 15: Clocks, Benchmarks and Temperatures

We currently offer 4 different CPUs in XMG APEX 15. Please refer to the following overviews.

CPU TDP CB 15 Single CB 15 Multi
AMD Ryzen 5 3600 65 191 1586
AMD Ryzen 7 3700X 65 197 2012
AMD Ryzen 9 3900 65 196 2882
AMD Ryzen 9 3950X 65 (Eco Mode) 195 3301

Profile PPT (88W) TDC (60A) EDC (90A) CPU Temp Target
Power Saving 32 30 45 81°C
Quiet 45 35 50 81°C
Entertainment 65 40 60 81°C
Performance 88 60 90 81°C
(as of BIOS 1.07.04RTR3)
Full benchmark sheet including clock speeds and temperatures:
Click here!


Q: Which RAM modules should I use to upgrade my XMG APEX 15?
A: Over the last few years, DDR4 RAM speeds beyond 2666MHz were achieved by using XMP: Extreme Memory Profiles. In 2020, this will change. XMG APEX 15 is our first high-end model that does not support XMP. This will also apply to every subsequent model released with next-gen Intel H series CPUs.
At launch, most RAM modules that are advertised with 3200MHz (or more) were not able to run at 3200MHz in this machine. They would clock down to their highest JEDEC profile, which is usually 2666MHz. In order to hit the 3200MHz speed, you used RAM modules that can already achieve this clock speed on JEDEC profiles. This required new RAM modules that are coming out now in 2020.

RAM compatibility list

Our current official list:
RAM SKU Capacity (GB) Speed CL
Kingston ValueRAM KVR26S19S8/8 8 DDR4-2666 CL19
Samsung M471A1K43CB1-CTD 8 DDR4-2666 CL19
Crucial CT8G4SFS832A 8 DDR4-3200 CL22
Samsung M471A2K43CB1-CTD 16 DDR4-2666 CL19
Kingston ValueRAM KVR26S19D8/16 16 DDR4-2666 CL19
Crucial CT16G4SFD832A 16 DDR4-3200 CL22
Samsung M471A2K43DB1-CWE 16 DDR4-3200 CL22
Samsung M471A4G43MB1-CTD 32 DDR4-2666 CL19
Samsung M471A4G43AB1-CWE 32 DDR4-3200 CL22
Generally speaking, all DDR4-2666 modules with CL19 and all DDR4-3200 modules with CL22 are working out of the box. This is not surprising.
Modules with lower latency can be made to run with custom BIOS settings, but we haven't done much to investigate actual performance benefits.
It is possible to run faster (non-JEDEC) RAM with lower latency by tweaking certain DRAM settings in Ryzen Master, we haven't been able to do much of our own testing on this topic yet.

Q: What do I need to know about the 16-core AMD Ryzen 9 3950X, running at 65W?
A: AMD Ryzen 9 3950X is originally specified as a CPU with a TDP of 105W. Running it at only 65W does indeed limit its performance potential. Thanks to the law of diminishing returns, the loss is not linear: even though you cut the power by about 40%, the multi-threaded performance is only down by about 19% and single-core performance by only 10%.
The 65W TDP-limit is achieved through BIOS settings and cannot be altered. In Performance profile, the power consumption of the CPU goes up to 88W (PPT). According to our tests, the 3950X has a slightly increased heat development compared to the 3900 (without X). With a simultaneous 100% load on the CPU and GPU (e.g. Furmark + Prime), the permanently maintained GPU performance in thermal saturation drops by at least 3%. Depending on the condition of the cooling system (dust, aging of the thermal grease), this discrepancy might slightly increase over time.
This will hardly make any difference in everyday life or in gaming - it will probably only affect those professional application scenarios in which a 100% CPU load is accompanied by 100% CUDA/OpenCL processing. In this situation, the advantage of the additional CPU performance seems to outweigh the minor loss in GPU boost.
At 65W, the AMD Ryzen 9 3950X beats the 65W 12-core CPU AMD Ryzen 9 3900 by a margin of about 15% in multi-threaded benchmarks. Single-threaded benchmarks remain at the same level between these two. So if you can afford the premium price and if you want the fastest CPU money can buy in a system of this size, the AMD Ryzen 9 3950X is a very good choice.
This is similar to running the CPU in what most desktop mainboards call “Eco-Mode”.

Q: Can I upgrade to next-gen AMD Ryzen 4000 series later?
A: AMD Ryzen 4000 series has been announced on CES 2020, but only for the mobile U and H series. The Desktop series is currently unannounced and is only rumoured to be released in October 2020 – although with the COVID-19 situation, we wouldn’t be surprised to see a couple of delays before that.
At any rate, it’s already been confirmed that AM4 socket and B450 chipset will be compatible with some (if not all) future Ryzen 4000 SKUs. As you might know from Desktop mainboards, the B450 chipset was not meant to be run with the 105W tier SKUs, but the 65W SKUs all run perfectly fine. We expect this to repeat with Ryzen 4000.
/edit: May 7, 2020: A recent AMD community update shed a different light on this assumption. See "Update on B450 Support" at the bottom of this post.

Q: How easy is it to service and upgrade XMG APEX 15?
A: All components are accessible via a service cover. To open this cover you will need to remove only 5 screws. A complete disassembly instruction can be found in the Service Manual [Download PDF]. It also contains instructions for removing the thermal components and replacing the CPU. Please note that the thermal components (incl. thermal paste) should only be removed and reassembled by trained and experienced personnel. If the procedure is not carried out properly, you will risk to void your warranty. If you would like to have your CPU upgraded by our qualified personnel, please contact us by e-mail at [[email protected]](mailto:[email protected]).

Q: What is different about those new NVIDIA RTX "Refresh" cards?
A: The "Refresh" cards were silently released by NVIDIA on April 2, 2020, relatively unnoticed by the public. They officially have the same name as their predecessors (e.g. RTX 2060, RTX 2070), but are a general overhaul.
Name Codename
RTX 2060 N18E-G1
RTX 2070 N18E-G2
RTX 2060 (Refresh) N18E-G1-B
RTX 2070 (Refresh) N18E-G1R
The biggest innovation of the refresh cards is the change to low voltage GDDR6. Thereby the graphics memory consumes less energy, thus producing less waste heat. Thus, within the same TGP limit, more energy can be put on the graphics chip (the GPU), which increases performance. The refresh cards therefore exceed their non-refresh predecessors by significant margins for the same power consumption. A better yield in chip production may also play a role here, but these things are usually not confirmed officially by NVIDIA.
The RTX 2070 (Refresh) keeps the 115W TGP of its predecessor, but is still faster than its predecessor due to the higher energy efficiency in the graphics memory.
The RTX 2060 (Refresh) has new TGP gradations in addition to the higher energy efficiency. The predecessor was specified with 80W by default. For the RTX 2060 (Refresh) NVIDIA now offers VBIOS versions with TGP-limit of up to 115W. Every manufacturer may use a different TGP level on this card without changing the name of the card. The XMG APEX 15 uses the RTX 2060 (Refresh) with up to 115W TGP. This means that RTX 2060 and RTX 2070 in XMG APEX 15 can use the same thermal components without compromise.
Our tests show that the new boost clock rates released under NDA by NVIDIA for the Refresh cards are even surpassed by our laptops. The first public benchmarks of the new refresh cards are expected to be released on April 15.

Q: Which LCD panels are going to be available in XMG APEX 15?
A: Due to logistical reasons, we can't always use exactly the same panel in every config and batch. But all the panels that we use will be very similar in spec. For the first couple of batches, we are following this panel plan:
The values are very close to each other. There is certain tolerance, so some values might be different on individual units in some upcoming press reviews. On paper, some values for the panel in the RTX 2060 model are slightly better, while the RTX 2070 model seems to have slightly better contrast by having a lower black point. Both panels are top of their line for a FHD 144Hz panel.
In case the panel plan changes with future batches, we will update the FAQ accordingly.

Q: Do you have any plans to release this laptop with AMD Radeon Graphics?
A: We currently don’t have any plans to support dedicated AMD graphics in this chassis. The NVIDIA options still deliver a great performance/watt ratio and they are mature and easy to work with, with mature drivers and lots of support from NVIDIA in Taiwan and Germany. We’ll never know what happens in the future, but an XMG laptop with dedicated AMD graphics is highly unlikely to hit the market in 2020.

Q: Will you offer XMG APEX 15 with other NVIDIA GPUs?
A: At launch, XMG APEX 15 is offered with RTX 2060 and RTX 2070 and supports up to 115W TGP on the GPU. Upgrades toward RTX 2070 SUPER and RTX 2080 are not planed.
Our ODM offers a downgrade to GTX 1660 Ti, but we decided not to carry that option because the price gap between GTX 1660 Ti and RTX 2060 has become relatively small and NVIDIA is going to push RTX features like DLSS 2.0 even more in 2020.

Q: Can I run this laptop with a smaller power supply?
A: XMG APEX 15 requires a 230W power adaptor to provide full performance. If you max out CPU and GPU with furmark and prime, the 230W adapter will be fully utilized. The laptop requires a power supply with 19~19.5V and a barrel plug with 5.5/2.5mm diameter and 10mm length.
With those specs, we do have a number of compatible power supplies with as little as 120W that are compatible. In theory, 120W are more than enough for charging the laptop and for browsing/web/media. Even a full CPU stress test could easily be handled with 120W. But as soon as you put any serious load on the dedicated GPU, you will run into a bottleneck. The system will then take additional power from the battery which won’t last forever.
Long story short: if you want to use an undersized power supply, don’t put any heavy load on the GPU.

Q: Is it possible to extend the battery life by switching to integrated graphics?
A: No. The AMD Desktop CPUs don’t have any integrated graphic components. The NVIDIA GPU in XMG APEX 15 is always on. In our tests, the system is showing an Idle Power Consumption of 36~47W on Windows Desktop – measured at the wall wocket. It might be possible to slightly reduce this value with Undervolting – but not by a large margin.
Make no mistake: XMG APEX 15 is a pure desktop replacement and is not meant to be used on-battery for long periods of time.

Q: When will we see press reviews of XMG APEX 15?
A: Our number of review samples is unfortunately constrained by the COVID-19 situation. Most samples are expected to ship before the end of April. The first review is published on the YouTube channel of der8auer: INSANE: 16 Core AMD Desktop CPU in a NOTEBOOK. Ah yea and I added some Liquid Nitrogen

Buy now

XMG APEX 15 on

Your feedback

We’re excited to launch XMG APEX 15 today and we’re looking forward to the feedback from press reviews and the community.
Some questions to our community
Thank you for reading and feel free to spread the news. We are looking forward to your feedback!

Update on B450 Support for Renoir, Cezanne and Vermeer

(May 23, 2020)
This just in: AMD Reverses Course, Will Enable Zen 3 and Ryzen 4000 Support on B450 and X470 Motherboards [Tom's Hardware]
Considering the number of AMD's course corrections, the technical limitations of a 16MB SPI chip and after having discussed this issue with our ODM since, we will not give any guarantees on Renoir, Cezanne and Vermeer as long as we don't have CPU samples and a Beta release of AMD's BIOS. This statement is neither a confirmation nor a denial on Renoir (ZEN 2 APU) and ZEN 3 support on XMG APEX 15. While we would like to support CPU upgrades on APEX 15, we will have to wait and see until we can actually get our hands on the goods and start testing.
Further insights (before this update) have been shared in this post.
// Tom
submitted by XMG_gg to XMG_gg [link] [comments]

I think I've been branded [part 2]

It's been a few days since my last update, so sorry for the delay. A lot has happened so I'll do my best to summarize in a cohesive manner.
I'm normally a pretty calm person, but as time goes on this brand has got me increasingly worried. I spent a few days pretending it was nothing. I've been alive for twenty-five years and it hasn't affected me thus far, so why should I let it bother me now?
But the more I try to ignore it, the more it gnaws at me. I go to work every day and I'm reminded of it every time I glimpse the corner of the ID SLEUTH peeking out from beneath the new cash registers.
So a few days ago I was going through the bar counting up items for inventory. When I caught sight of it, I finally broke. I snatched the ID SLEUTH from its hidey hole and flicked on the blacklight.
There's the brand. It shines like a neon light, bright as ever.
0812 7569 2345 9742-63
What the hell am I?
I've googled it. Turns out the words "Why is there a serial number on my skin?" haven't popped up on the world wide web too many times. So I've tried rearranging them, hoping for different results.
Most of what I'm seeing is pretty inane. People get matrix-style strings of code tattooed on their backs in fluorescent ink. Cute, but not helpful. Some movie came out a few years a go where a genetically altered hit-man gets a bar-code printed on his neck. What the fuck, man?
Most troubling yet are the 7-digit numbers stamped on the arms of Auschwitz prisoners during the holocaust. This at least has some real world significance, but their tattoos look nothing like mine, and the Nazis certainly didn't have access to fluorescent ink.
So all of this together has me thinking I'm part of some government experiment. Search results from conspiracy theory nuts tend to get buried pretty deep, so I'm gonna skip all the google skimming and go straight to someone I know who I'd consider an "expert" in this kind of stuff.
My pal PJ and I go way back. We met in high school, where we bonded over - you guessed it - conspiracy theory talk at the lunch table. PJ believes in some seriously weird shit - one could say we live in completely different realities. In PJ's reality, Philip K. Dick reads like a self-help manual. Over many long-winded conversations, I've been talked over to ideas like Christianity is derived from pagan mythology, the government perpetrated 9/11, and the United States is historically more of a global super villain than the shining beacon on a hill that we've been raised to believe in. Still, in PJ's eyes I'm an "entry-level" conspiracy theorist.
"Conspiracy theory," by the way, is a label pushed by the CIA during the cold war to ridicule people who know too much about their secret agendas.
Anyway, seems like the perfect person for the job.
I called PJ up yesterday during my lunch break, giving a snap summary of my situation.
"Sounds serious, man. We should talk. Drop by my place after work." click.
Classic PJ. Conversations like this only happen in person.
So, it's a quarter after 5, and I roll up at PJ's downtown fortress of an apartment building. I pound the buzzer button and get a terse "who goes there?" through the intercom speaker.
"Jesus, Peej. Really? Do we have to do this every time?"
The briefest pause, then, "Rules are rules, dipshit."
That seems awfully rich coming from an infamous blackhat data thief. But PJ loves little rituals like this, so I play along.
"It's Chris. You happy?"
Another pause. The door buzzes. I fly up the stairs to the third floor.
Now is probably a good time to mention that PJ is a girl. A very cute girl. Pale skin, light freckles, mossy green eyes, kinda top heavy. Today she's wearing a lime-green hoodie over a pinstriped T-shirt, her shortish hair is tied back in a ragged pony tail that makes it look like she cut it with a katana. Knowing PJ this is probably not far from the truth, though she'll insist that uneven cut is due to her trichotillomania. The katana in question hangs elegantly on the back wall, astride a wakizashi, bow and arrow quiver, a foldable bat-erang, and a variously shaped shurikens. She calls it the "wall of China." To see that wall, one has to look over the haphazard stacks of water-cooled computers.
PJ sits on a cushy, wheeled arm-chair in front of a panel of 4 hi-definition flat-screen monitors which curve around her field of view to form one giant partitioned screen. Swiveling around in her chair like a cartoon villain, PJ flashes her signature Cheshire grin.
"What up, C!? Welcome to my cave!"
I'm really not amused by this. "You say that every time I walk in here."
PJ cackles, pleased at her own joke. "And will continue to do so, until it gets old," she says gleefully.
"Yeah, okay whatever. Can we get to the point?"
"Of course," she says, "your branding situation. Here, I think I have something..." she hops off her chair, stooping to rummage beneath her desk. She emerges a few moments later, brandishing a strip of blacklight. "This should do the trick."
PJ's jaw drops as the brand comes into view.
"Holy shit, you weren't kidding," she gawps. "It's not even well hidden! How the hell have you never noticed this before?"
"Well, Jesus, Peej. I don't go around shining blacklights on myself.
She scoffs, "What, you've never been to a highlighter party?"
"They have those?"
She tsks at me, "Oh, C. You poor naive fool."
Before I can respond, she continues, "This is kinda fucking amazing, C. I mean, I never thought I would see one in person."
" know what it is."
PJ laughs knowingly. "Do I! Well, I have a hunch. But, y'know, I'm pretty sure it's correct. Here," she gestures at a nearby folding couch. "You should have a seat for this. I'm gonna go make some hot pockets."
She's so stereotypical.
PJ returns from the kitchen a few minutes later, Hot pockets steaming on a paper plate.
"Cheesesteak," she explains, depositing the plate on the glass coffee table in front of me and taking the open seat beside me. "Only the classiest."
"Thoughtful of you," I say, taking the offered food.
"Now," she says, leveling her hands at me, "Have I ever told you about Project Gemini?"
Oh boy, here we go.
I suppress a sigh. "No, Peej. You probably forgot to mention it while you were telling me all your other conspiracy theories."
Peej bristles at my terminology. "They're not theories, C." She says, with air quotes around the offending word. "Stop playing their game, dude."
This time I sigh audibly. "Okay, Peej. My bad. Tell me about Project Gemini."
Peej closes her eyes, taking a deep breath. She hates being ridiculed. She continues on. "Project Gemini is a eugenics experiment the government started back in the 60's. I wouldn't bother googling it because there's not much information on it out there, and the stuff you find won't be very reliable--"
"Then how do you know so much about it?"
"Excuse me, I was still talking." PJ shoots me this look of utter disdain. She hates being interrupted too. This can be a drag because she tends to monologue. "Look, I have my sources, man. You'll just have to trust me.
"Anyway, the government doesn't even call it 'Project Gemini' anymore. Most mainstream sites that talk about it will say it was shut down sometime around the end of the Vietnam War. It does look that way, because the government no longer has control over the project. But," she levels her hands again, "don't let that fool you. Project Gemini is still very much alive."
PJ takes another bite from her Hot Pocket and sets it on the plate, getting up from the couch. Walking towards her computer, she continues, "See, they don't have to take any of the blame for human rights issues if no one can prove they're affiliated with it. So they contract it out. Private corporations were selected to continue the project, and they get huge pay cuts from the feds as long as they continue their research."
I gnaw at my Hot Pocket as she begins to type away at her computer. "What kind of research are we talking here?"
"Well," she says as she sifts through some weird looking pages on her browser, faster than I can follow, "The objective was always to create genetically perfect humans. Super soldiers, would be my guess. I mean, why would the government spend so much money on it if it wasn't war-related?"
This makes perfect sense in her world view, and I let her have the point, eager to hear what comes next.
"It's mostly tampering with human genome," she continues. "DNA splicing, selective breeding, playing with stem cells." She wrinkles her nose at this last one. "But," she finishes typing and turns around to face me, as a corporate-style page comes up behind her. "My main theory is that they're creating clones."
My jaw drops involuntarily. The page behind her shows a corporate webpage in Teal and orange, with dark grey font reading, Intigen United. The corporate logo on the banner is an silhouetted spiral of DNA splitting into separate strands, the base pairs dissolving into tiny sand-like particles as the strands drift apart.
But what has me gaping is the centered image of an outstretched arm, the hand arched back to display the wrist - which bears a glowing string of numbers, 18 digits long. It's exactly identical to mine.
"Son of a--"
"'Son of a bitch' is right!" She's flashing that Cheshire smile again.
"Wha...Peej this is not funny!" I sputter, amazed at her light reaction to all this. "Are you saying I'm a--"
"A clone?" PJ's grin fades to a more somber expression. "I'm sorry, C. This must be a lot for you. But yes, if my theories are right, you just might be an actual human clone."
"I can't be a clone. Look at me." I gesture at my gut, my round face, crooked nose, and unkempt beard. "Is this what genetic perfection looks like?"
"Aw, you're not that bad, C." She looks genuinely sympathetic. "But yeah, I see your point. Well look, I mean, they haven't exactly been keeping tabs on you all this time. Maybe you're one of their failed experiments. Or maybe..."
She suddenly looks very worried.
"Maybe, what?" I ask.
"Maybe this is all part of the experiment--" She wheels in her chair, attention suddenly riveted to the keyboard as she begins typing commands furiously. Windows pop in and out of existence.
I suddenly notice that the green light on her screen-mounted webcam is on.
"Hey, Peej. What's--"
Suddenly the screen freezes. PJ stops typing.
"Oh shite."
A prompt pops up on the screen and lines of text generate rapidly, scrolling up and off the screen. Hard to tell with the speed they're moving, but they look like file directories. PJ types away furiously but nothing seems to be working.
"FUCK!" she screams, pounding the keyboard in frustration. "I've been hacked!" She looks like she's about to cry. I've never seen her lose control like this before.
Visibly, she steels herself. "Fuck you for making me do this," she mutters at the screen.
Looking like she's about to shoot Old Yeller, She reaches out and presses three keys simultaneously. The lines of text suddenly reverse direction, begin to flow downwards, each one ending with a single word in red text.
The lines stop scrolling. The view goes black, with only a pixelated skull and crossbones centered on the screen.
Then it winks off. Sparks fly from every single computer in the room. They're self-destructing, I realize.
PJ is already a blur of motion. She pulls a duffel bag from beneath the computer desk, begins ripping expensive equipment from her computer rig and throwing it into the duffel.
"Peej, what the hell is going--"
She rounds on me, "C, you have to get the fuck out of here."
"What?" I'm incredibly confused. "Peej, what the fuck just happened? Did you just destroy your--"
"Yeah man, everything's fried. I had to. My system is compromised. We both have to get the hell out of here. Look--"
She pulls something from beneath her desk with a sound of ripping duct tape. Presses it into my hand.
It's a fucking pistol.
"They're onto you, dude. I'm sorry. Go home, lock your doors, and if anyone comes knocking, be ready to use that."
"Holy shit, Peej. I've never--" I gulp. "Are you gonna be okay?"
She laughs. It comes from a hollow place. "Dude, guarantee they're already fucking sorry they messed with my system." Tears well up in her big green eyes. She takes a breath, suppressing the emotions. "I'll be fine, man. I've got plans in place for everything. Just get the fuck out of here, okay? GO!"
She throws the door open and pushes me through it. "Don't fucking call me. Don't text, don't anything. I'll be in touch. Mabel Fontina."
I have no idea what the hell that means. The door slams before I can ask.
Jesus Christ, Peej.
I'm writing this from my computer at home. I downloaded a VPN, using secure proxy servers for everything, private browser. Trying to be as untraceable as possible. I wish PJ was here. Hope this finds someone trustworthy. More specifically, I hope it doesn't find anyone untrustworthy.
I'm scared for my life.
TIL that I am corporate property.

submitted by MadDocEdwin to nosleep [link] [comments]

Answering your questions about USB Type-C

Warning: this post is very long. Look at my headers and FAQs if there's something in particular you want to know about and feel free to skip the rest.
Here's a simpler guide about picking and comparing chargers by sylocheed. I listed a bunch of recommended chargers and cables with links to buy them in this comment to that thread
Switch and all of its accessories use the new(ish) USB Type-C connector for charging, data, and docking. Unlike the proprietary connectors and chargers Nintendo used in the past, this is a standard one that the rest of the tech industry is already starting to use for phones, laptops, and more.
Disclaimer: I'm not really an expert at USB Type-C and I'm not affiliated with any of the brands I mention here. I just happen to use a bunch of Type-C devices and accessories and I've read the USB spec documents a bit. I'm not the person to ask if you want in-depth analysis on something like USB compliance. I'm making this post because I do know enough to answer most of the questions and misunderstandings about USB that I've seen here and because I'm waiting for BotW to finish downloading.

Some Common Types of USB Connectors

Despite a common misconception, Type-C and USB 3.1 are separate standards. Some devices have USB 3.1 on other ports that aren't Type-C. Some other devices and cables have Type-C ports that only support USB 2.0 data speeds.

Some Common Types of Type-C Cables and Adapters

  • USB 2.0 Type-C Cable: Type-C plugs on each end which only support USB 2.0 data speeds. Will not work with video streams (Alt Mode). Every cable should support at least 3A. Often cheaper, thinner, and longer than USB 3.1 cables.
  • USB 3.1 Full-Featured Type-C Cable: Type-C plugs on each end which support USB 3.1 data speeds and video streams. They don't give Switch any benefit over USB 2.0 cables for charging.
  • USB A-to-C Cable: Useful for connecting Type-C devices to chargers/computers/hubs with the older Type-A port. For charging purposes it doesn't really matter whether you get a USB2 or USB3 cable, but either way you cannot charge Type-C devices as quickly with these as you can with C-to-C cables.
  • Type-C Plug to Type-A Receptacle: The USB Type-C equivalent to OTG adapters. You can use these to connect a single Type-A device (such as an Ethernet adapter) to a Type-C port in a way that's cheaper and smaller than a hub.
  • Type-C AC Adapter: These let you charge from wall power, usually giving more power than the USB ports on PCs and other devices. You'll get better charging speeds from most Type-C AC adapters than you will from any Type-A charger. Some of them have detachable Type-C cables while others are non-removable.
  • Type-C Video adapter: Offers some sort of video output that can be any one of HDMI, DisplayPort, VGA, etc. These only work with Type-C devices that, like most laptops, offer DisplayPort Alternate Mode. Unfortunately these don't seem to work with the Switch.

Switch Accessories that use USB

  • Switch console: Has just one USB Type-C port on the bottom. This single port can connect the Switch to the dock to charge, provide video+audio output, and connect to USB 3.1 accessories all at the same time.
  • Nintendo AC Adapter: This is a USB Type-C and USB-PD 39W AC adapter. For best compatibility, this is the only AC adapter you should use with the dock, but you can also use it to charge an undocked Switch or any other USB Type-C accessories. The 2m (6ft) cable is non-removable.
  • Switch dock: Inside the dock, a USB Type-C connector connects to the Switch console. It has two USB Type-A 2.0 ports on the front, one USB Type-A 3.1 port on the back, and a USB Type-C port on the back exclusively for power which you should use with the included official AC adapter. The Type-A ports will provide power even when the Switch isn't docked.
  • Pro Controller: Has one USB Type-C port on the top for charging and pairing. It includes a 1.5m (5ft) USB-A to USB-C cable that you can use to charge it from the USB-A ports on the dock or any other device you own. You can also charge it directly from a USB-C AC adapter and ignore the included cable. It also supports using USB to automatically pair or for sending inputs without wireless interference (since Switch System 3.0.0).
  • Wired Controllers: As of Switch System 3.0.0, you can use wired controllers as a substitute for Pro Controllers in every game. The Hori Pokkén Controller (Wii U/Switch), Hori USB Pro Controller, and Hori Fight Stick currently work. The Wii U GameCube adapter does NOT work.
  • Joy-Con Charging Grip: Unlike the grip bundled with the system, this one includes a USB-C port which you can use to charge the attached Joy-Cons. Like the Pro Controller, it includes a USB-A to USB-C cable and can transmit inputs over USB.
  • Hori Switch Car Charger: This is a 15W (5V/3A) USB Type-C charger that you can use with car power outlets to charge the Switch or any USB-C accessories. Officially licensed by Nintendo.
Switch won't normally have any USB Type-A ports when undocked but you can still connect compatible USB-A accessories by using any normal USB-C OTG-like (Standard-A Receptacle) adapter or USB-C hub. This means you can use Ethernet adapters in handheld mode.
Because the dock's front USB ports are limited to USB 2.0, you'll get better results from the rear port for Gigabit Ethernet adapters or any future accessories that depend on high data speeds.

Different Types of USB Charging

USB charging compatibility is a little more complicated than just how many volts and amps you want. USB has a standard small amount of power that everything supports but there are a lot of different ways for devices to ask for more power than that and not everything supports the same way of communicating it so they might fall back to a suboptimal power level. Remember: Power (Watts) = Current (Amps) × Voltage.
  • Default USB 1.1/2.0: Always 5V, can range between 0.1A to 0.5A. Every USB port supports this.
  • Default USB 3.0/3.1: Always 5V, can range between 0.15A to 0.9A.
  • USB BC (Battery Charging): Always 5V, supports up to 1.5A.
  • Apple USB-A Charging: Always 5V, supports up to 2.4A. This isn't a USB Standard, but it was made so common by Apple that a lot of Android and other devices support it too. Nintendo supports this from Apple's iPad charger but not from any third-party clones.
  • USB Type-C Current: Always 5V, supports 1.5A (7.5W) and optionally 3.0A (15W). You can only use this with USB Type-C chargers and cables; it will not work with USB A-to-C cables. Every Type-C charger that offers at least 1.5A must support this standard.
  • USB Power Delivery (USB-PD): Can offer 5V, 9V, 12V, 15V, 20V, and other voltages at up to 5A. This is how USB handles higher power up to 100W. Every USB-PD charger has a list of voltages it supports, every USB-PD device has a list of voltages it accepts, and they'll use the highest voltage that both lists share. USB PD always (in practice) uses USB Type-C.
  • Qualcomm Quick Charge: A proprietary charging system by Qualcomm which supports variable voltage (usually 5V/9V/12V) and up to 2A. It has 4 revisions named QC1.0, QC2.0, QC3.0, and QC4.0. Used by some Android phones. Not supported by Nintendo. It's known to cause issues with Sony's DualShock controllers.
  • Dash Charge: Yet another incompatible proprietary charging system that only Oppo and OnePlus phones use. Supports 5V at up to 4A.

Compatibility table

Device Default USB USB-BC Type-C Current USB-PD Others
Switch Console (as sink) 0.5A 1.5A 2.0A 5V/9V/12V/15V at up to 2A Apple iPad charger at 2.0A
Switch Console (as source) 0.5A No No No No
Nintendo AC Adapter 0.5A 1.5A 1.5A 5V at up to 1.5A or 15V at up to 2.6A No
Pro Controller 0.5A No No No No
Joy-Con Charging Grip 0.5A No No No No
Hori 15W Car Charger 0.5A No 3.0A No No
USB-A Ports on Switch Dock 0.5A No No No No
All of these chargers and devices support multiple different charging standards but they'll only use one at a time. Every device+charger pair automatically picks the best charging standard and highest voltage that they both support. You can use the Switch with non USB-PD chargers (like the Hori charger) and you can use the Switch's charger with non USB-PD devices (like the Pro Controller) because they both support a variety of other charging methods. None of Nintendo's USB devices support Qualcomm Quick Charge or Dash Charge.
Incompatible charging methods can mean your charging speeds will be lower than either the charger or the device individually support.
Even if a charger doesn't advertise what fast charging methods it supports, you can reasonably guess it based on the advertised voltage+current and the list of devices it claims to support. Dash Charge and Quick Charge should normally be labeled with the respective logos. Most USB chargers above 0.5A support USB-BC unless they specifically advertise "for iPhone only", most USB-A chargers above 1.5A use Apple USB Charging, and most Type-C chargers use Type-C current up to 15W and USB-PD for anything higher than that.
In order to use a USB-A charger you have to buy a USB A-to-C cable but you can't get any more than 7.5W (1.5A) out of it because you'll be limited to USB-BC with most chargers. You can get more power only from a Type-C or USB-PD charger.

Charging speed breakdown

Any charger that provides at least 7.5W (5V/1.5A) to the Switch should be enough to consistently keep up with the battery drain even while playing BotW. Anything higher will charge your battery faster and anything below might only slow down your battery drain instead of charging depending on what you're playing but will still work fine in sleep mode.
For USB-A chargers, buy a USB A-to-C cable or use the one included with Nintendo's Pro Controller or Charging Grip. For USB-C chargers, feel free to use the included cable or buy some other C-to-C cable if you want.
  • USB-A ports on desktops and laptops: 5V at 0.1-0.5A (0.5-2.5W)
  • USB-A iPhone/iPad-only chargers: 5V/0.5A (2.5W) for everything except the 12W iPad charger.
  • USB-A Android chargers: Whatever the charger supports up to at most 5V/1.5A (7.5W)
  • USB-A PowerIQ/iSmart/QuickCharge chargers: 5V/1.5A (7.5W)
  • USB-A iPad 12W charger: 5V/2A (10W), this is the best USB-A charger you can get
  • USB-C 5V/3A (15W) chargers like Nexus and Lumia ones: Switch will only draw 5V/2A (10W)
  • USB-C ports on laptops: Depends on the laptop, but most of them will give at least 5V/2A (10W)
  • QuickCharge over USB-C receptacles: Avoid these. They probably won't harm the Switch, but won't give it any more than 10W and can be dangerous with other devices. Multi-port chargers that only offer Quick Charge on the USB-A ports are mostly fine.
  • OnePlus USB-C Dash Charger: I don't know. Avoid this; it might not be safe and at best it will charge very slowly.
  • Nintendo's AC adapter: Gives Switch about 15V/1.2A (18W) when undocked. Poor compatibility with most third-party devices.
  • Other USB-C PD chargers: Basically whatever the charger advertises or 18W, whichever is lower. Switch supports all of the standard PD1.0 and PD2.0 voltages up to 15V (5V/9V/12V/15V) and will draw up to 2A but it has problems with a lot of PD chargers.
The Pro Controller and Joy-Con Charging Grip should work great with any USB charger. They won't draw more than 5V/0.5A (2.5W) no matter what charger you connect them to.


These are all real/paraphrased questions I've seen at this subreddit in the past month.

I keep hearing stuff about USB Type-C being dangerous. What's up with that?

It's not limited to USB Type-C, but with third-party devices in general you'll always find bad manufacturers that produce junk that doesn't work right. Because it's a newer standard and because it's so capable, Type-C is particularly prone to getting bad cables and chargers even from some of the better vendors. If you only buy USB Type-C accessories that perfectly comply with the USB spec there's no danger. Some noncompliant stuff might only fail in very specific situations based on what you connect to them and might otherwise be safe to use in any other way, but it's still best to avoid them all just in case.
See also:
These reviews might give you the impression that almost all USB-C accessories are scary and dangerous, but keep in mind that there's some sampling bias in that these people often look specifically for things worth warning people about and a lot of their poorly-reviewed products get taken off the market afterward. They do review a few good products.

Will my USB battery bank work with my Switch? How about my phone chargers? USB-C laptop chargers? Can I just connect it to my desktop with a A-to-C cable?

Yes, as long as you picked a safe USB charger (check reviews before buying!) you can use it with your Switch to charge it while off or in sleep mode. Only some chargers can charge while playing (see the following questions).

How about my phone's Quick Charge charger?

QC3.0 and below is known for having some problems with USB Type-C so it's best to avoid them in general. I don't believe this actually will damage your Switch, but it's been reported that QC3.0 can damage certain USB Type-C cables only if both ends (charger and device) support QC3.0 on Type-C ports. Switch doesn't support QC so that's not directly a concern with it, but it's still better not to own something like this in case you ever get a device that does. Some chargers have a mix of QC USB-A ports and non-QC USB-C ports which should be fine.
QC4.0 chargers don't exist yet, but they should fix these issues and have good interoperability with Switch.

What is PowerIQ or iSmart?

Those are Anker's and RAVPower's trademarks for chargers that imitate Apple's 12W charger. These are USB-A ports that support both 2.4A Apple charging and 1.5A USB BC1.2 charging for better interoperability between Apple and all other USB devices. These should work just as well as Apple's 12W charger with any phones and tablets, but not with Switch, which only draws up to 1.5A from these despite supporting 2.4A from Apple's charger.

What if my charger offers too much power? Can it make my Switch blow up?

No, higher-power USB chargers shouldn't ever provide more power than the device connected to it can accept. You can connect a 100W charger to your Switch and it will only actually use less than 39W. There are, however, quite a few faulty chargers on the market that you shouldn't use regardless of how much power it's supposed to give.

Can I charge my Switch while playing it undocked?

Depends on the charger you're using. Chargers that give the Switch more power than it consumes while running should be able to charge the battery. Weaker ones will only help slow down your battery drain. Look at the above USB charging section to help you figure out how much power your charger will actually give the Switch. It seems 7.5W (5V/1.5A) should be enough in general to usually keep up with battery drain and charge just a little.

What charger should I get for the fastest charging times when undocked?

Most USB PD (not Quick Charge) chargers for phones or laptops that support at least one of 9V, 12V, or 15V should be able to give optimum charging speeds. If you need an affordable battery bank or a cheaper AC adapter, any other charger with a USB Type-C port that offers 15W (5V/3A) will only give the Switch 10W but is still good enough.
Nintendo's official charger will give the Switch optimum charging speeds but I don't recommend getting an extra one because it has awful compatibility with third-party devices. As far as I've measured, Switch never seems to draw more than about 18-20W (usually less) from the charger when undocked, so anything else that offers that much power will work just as well.

Can I charge the Switch in tabletop mode?

The USB Type-C port is on the bottom, so there's no space to plug in a charger unless you put it on a stand like this Hori one

Will this random USB accessory I own work with the Switch for purposes other than charging such as sound, storage, keyboard, GameCube controller, etc?

Probably not. The Switch would need to have drivers for that device, but it doesn't run an OS that comes with a ton of drivers like Windows or Linux so you can expect that Nintendo only made drivers for the devices they expect people to use. Switch does not currently support USB flash drives or hard drives. USB keyboards do work.

Will my USB Ethernet adapter work?

Only certain Ethernet adapters work. Essentially, any other Ethernet adapter with the same parts (chipset) on the inside as the Nintendo-licensed adapters will work because they all use the same driver. It seems that Switch works with any adapter with an AX88772 chipset (the 100Mbps adapters that worked with Wii and Wii U) or an AX88179 chipset (Gigabit Ethernet). You do not need the day 1 update to use these adapters. Realtek adapters do not work.

Will USB Internet tethering from my phone work?

No, but your phone probably supports Mobile Hotspot, which will create a Wi-Fi network that Switch can successfully connect to and use.

Will USB Type-C video adapters (HDMI, DisplayPort, VGA, etc) work with the Switch? How about third-party docks?

Unfortunately, no. The Switch seems to treat the official dock in some special way that breaks interoperability.

What USB Type-C cable should I buy?

Whichever one has the right plugs and the right length. If you're connecting the Switch to a USB-C charger that doesn't come with a cable, get a C-to-C cable. If you're connecting it to an older USB-A charger, get an A-to-C cable. You'll get better charging speeds from USB-C chargers and C-to-C cables.
It doesn't matter whether your cable supports USB 2.0, USB 3.0, or USB 3.1. The charging speed that Switch supports over any of them is the same. USB 2.0 cables often tend to be cheaper and longer so they're usually a good choice.
There used to be a lot of bad USB-C cables on the market, but Amazon and some other vendors have been pretty good about delisting and recalling bad cables. AmazonBasics, Anker, Cable Matters, and Aukey have good USB-C cables now.

Do you recommend any particular USB Type-C chargers or cables?

See the guide by sylocheed in Choosing Your Nintendo Switch Charger.
If you want product links, see this post.
I really like Google's 18W Pixel phone charger. It charges just as fast as Nintendo's charger at about the same price while being smaller, having a removable cable, and working a lot better with phones so you can take just one charger to share between your USB-C phone and Switch.

Can I use Nintendo's charger with other devices?

Feel free to try, but it will charge very slowly. No USB-C phones can draw more than 7.5W from it, which is half as much power as the 15W+ chargers they all use. Most laptops will charge even slower if at all.
DO NOT use it with the Nexus 5X. This phone has a bug that I reported to Google which makes the phone misbehave in a way that might be able to damage the charger.
Edit: marcan42 helped correct my misconceptions about Nintendo's official AC adapter. Sorry for the mistake.
submitted by bluaki to NintendoSwitch [link] [comments]

A comparison between the Teamwolf Zhuque and the Magicforce 68

As I mentioned in a previous post, I've been looking to get a cheap keyboard with tactile switches for typing to complement my QFR-i until I can build my ultimate keyboard. Initially I planned on getting a Magicforce 68 and desoldering all the switches, but then I found out the hotswappable Teamwolf Zhuque is available at the same price (£29.99) on Amazon UK. Here are the links to the exact SKUs I purchased for the Zhuque and Magicforce. I decided I'd try out both boards and keep the one I prefer. I was still happy to desolder the MF if I felt the end result would be better than the Zhuque. Here's what I consider the plus points of each board:
Teamwolf Zhuque Pros
Magicforce 68 Pros
My Verdict
Let me preface this conclusion by saying both of these keyboards are excellent boards for their price, and are both considerably better than all the budget membrane keyboards I used before buying my first mech. That said, I've decided I'm going to keep onto the Zhuque instead of the Magicforce. At £30 the Zhuque offers so many great features, and I intend to make use of the hotswappable sockets as much as I can. Even as just a switch tester it works quite well for the price.There's a lot on offer here, even for enthusiasts, whereas the Magicforce is a solid all-around board. That said, if I had to recommend a first board for a friend, I'd probably recommend a backlit Magicforce with Gateron Browns or Cherry switches. This offers a versatile board that requires no tinkering, suitable for gaming or office work. Hopefully this guide helps someone make their mind up; I've tried to list fair points for both boards.
Other Options
Of course, these aren't the only two boards on the market. Here are some of the other options I considered before deciding between these two:
If you made it this far, thank you for reading this wall of text. If you have any questions or issues, please ask.
EDIT: Inadvertently used the affiliate links I used when buying the keyboard, swapped them for the standard link.
submitted by NewPSP to MechanicalKeyboards [link] [comments]

Updated for Vive: Starship Enterprise Model Viewer

This is an updated version of a fun little project I threw together as a Trek fan. It allows you to view eight Starship Enterprise models in 1:1 or 1:500 scale, and now supports the HTC Vive! (Oculus support not included in this version.)
All of the ships are correctly sized relative to each other. You can toggle between "model scale" and actual size using the controller's Application Menu button.
I get a stable 90 FPS on all ships with my Nvidia 970 GTX (even with the included 2x super-sampling). Your mileage may vary.
CONTROLS Vive Controller: - Trigger = grab ship in model-scale, or move player in full-scale - Touchpad Right = next ship - Touchpad Left = previous ship - Application Menu = toggle ship scale between 1:500 and 1:1 Keyboard: - P = take full-resolution screenshot (output to Enterprises\ folder) - ESC = quit
SYSTEM REQUIREMENTS OS: Windows 7 or Higher VR Headset: HTC Vive Input: HTC Vive Controller
CREDITS Created by William Palmer ([email protected])
NX-01 and NCC-1701D meshes by David Metlesits NCC-1701 and NCC-1701A by Raul Mamoru ([email protected]) NCC-1701B mesh by J. Cassio NCC-1701C mesh by James Trexler ([email protected]) NCC-1701E mesh by Paul Trenkler ([email protected]), re-textured by Daniel Broadway ([email protected]) NCC-1701JJ mesh by Ricky "MadMan1701A" Wallace (
LEGAL Star Trek and all related marks, logos and characters are solely owned by CBS Studios Inc. This fan production is not endorsed by, sponsored by, nor affiliated with CBS, Paramount Pictures, or any other Star Trek franchise, and is a non-commercial fan-made film intended for recreational use. No commercial exhibition or distribution is permitted. No alleged independent rights will be asserted against CBS or Paramount Pictures.
submitted by kideternal to Vive [link] [comments]

R-Virus: A Reddit Apocalypse - Chapter 49

Author's Note: This is chapter 49 of the ongoing Reddit Novel, R-Virus. Parts 1-48 are at /rvirus. If you haven't read the others, DO NOT START HERE. Start at Part 1.
R-Virus © Ryan Smith
Is it over? -thor_play
The World’s End Tavern is modeled after The Bannered Mare from Skyrim, down to the open fire pit in its center. Shields with sigils of cats line the walls. A table of overweight Drow elves watch us as we enter, then go back to sipping their Coke Zeros out of pewter steins. A half dozen paladins sit at the bar watching the TV. It’s playing the /rpg feed which is currently showing a stage adaptation of The Witcher 3: The Wild Hunt, where the audience makes player choices from home by up and downvoting choices written in the comments in a reddit thread.
To help me fit in, Scher has given me a pitch fork, dark dress, frilly white shirt, and dark brown vest thing. It actually looks kind of cute, though my hair buzzed short on the side does clash with the look a bit. Sort of Neo-American Gothic.
It’s the third change up I’ve done since I’ve been in /rpg. Scher insists that it’s to keep me anonymous, make sure I don’t make an impression on anyone. I kind of think she just likes having another woman around who is indebted to her enough not to refuse extended make-up applications.
Something I’ve learned: Nobody knows how to do makeup better than a transexual special effects artist that likes to dress in drag. According to Scher, when she first set up shop here, she only had a travel kit of mascara and became the “MacGyver of makeup,” whoever that is.
She isn’t dressed like a peasant, but is resplendent in a crimson “Melisandra-inspired” outfit, even if she’s sporting a little more latex cleavage than I remember Carice van Houten displaying in Game of Thrones. I’d expected raised eyebrows at her black Melisandre interpretation, but at least one paladin doesn’t seem to mind.
We take a table to ourselves and start scouting the room. I count four guys smoking pipes in corners with their hoods drawn, going for the mysterious Aragorn look.
According to Scher, the Ultrapost riddle has directed me here to get me into the Dice District, and there’s ultimately only one thing a person really does here, aside from dress up and have as much fun as possible.
This game’s not one of fun or thrones You’ll win or join the dust and bones.
“It’s a quest,” says Scher. “Got to be. And my guess is that it’s not collect 10 mushrooms or any of that other bullshit lowbies have to do. This ultrapost shit is-”
“Would you keep your voice down!” I hiss, as a barmaid wanders over to our table. “I’d prefer it if the whole subreddit didn’t know what I’m doing here.” I start to bite my fingernails which is a nervous habit that always emerges when I’m thinking hard, and that I have to stop because I’ve heard that it’s bad for your teeth, and then think how absurd it is to worry about something like that now. Nice nails, nice teeth. Problems from a world that doesn’t exist any more.
Scher orders a Bear Island Iced Tea and I take a Batmanhattan. Scher pulls out a palm-sized makeup kit and freshens her eyeliner while we wait.
“Is all this necessary? I need to get this done fast and get out of here.”
“You might be here awhile. This OP assigned you a quest and legit gave you a warning that you’ll die if you don’t succeed. That sounds like a high motherfuckin level endgame quest, and you can’t go do that shit alone.”
“True,” I say. “But I’ve got you to protect me.”
She rolls her eyes. “And now the bitch is begging me to power level her.” She lets out a long sigh. “What is this super post thing supposed to be anyway?” says Scher.
“Nobody knows exactly. But, the joke is that it’s like, the be all end all of reddit posts. Like so great your brain would just melt if you saw it.”
Scher looks at me with one cocked eyebrow.
I stare at her. “What?”
“That is the dumbest fuckin thing I’ve ever heard of in my life.”
I shrug. “Yeah, me too. But Apostolate found it and according to him it was serious. A weapon that could control the outcome of the war. Obviously it’s not an actual ‘post’ per se.”
“And that’s what y’all motherfuckers have been killing each other for?”
“And what if you murder each other, and you get to the end of the hunt and you find it, and it’s a url, and when you put in the url, it’s just a link to a video of Rick Astley singin ‘Never gonna give you up’?”
“That… would actually be pretty brilliant. Like I wouldn’t even be mad if that’s what it turned out to be. But I don’t think that’s what it is. Apostolate was killed months ago, probably because of what he knew. I don’t think some random troll would murder someone for a joke. Plus,” I take a second to formulate my thoughts as the barmaid returns with our drinks in big pewter tankards, accepting mine gratefully. Times like this, a little alcohol goes down very nicely.
“There’s something about the riddles, the clues and the way they’re phrased, the OP’s decision to hide his cache in Patty Boleslav’s bedroom, that makes me feel like he’s making a point to us. The first cache was hidden right in the middle of this seriously fucked up situation, and it wasn’t an accident.”
I hadn’t even shared this idea with Ryan yet. But the hanged girl, the murders, her dead parents rotting in that one-story house - whoever created this geocache hunt knew about it, and he even knew about her pathetic letter in Michael Lasky’s yearbook. He’d taken a tragic, tortured girl in unending, inhuman agony, and made her a clue in a treasure hunt, then let her go on killing until someone who found the cache put a stop to it.
“Whoever made this hunt isn’t fucking around. He made it to fuck with us, or toy with us, or something. I haven’t figured it out yet, but trust me when I tell you that he isn’t just some troll.”
“When you say a fucked up situation, just how fucked up do you mean?”
I can see Patty Boleslav’s bulging eyes, black pupils in sclera that should’ve been white, stained the dark brown of burst blood vessels. “Just about as bad as it gets. And if OP thinks like I think he does, I’m going to bet that wherever the second cache is, it’s going to be fucked up too.”
Scher says, “Listen, I know this isn’t any of my business or anything, but I saw those videos with you and the OAG and that guy /rapeandpillage captured. Seems like you had way more backup and it didn’t go so smoothly. Are you sure you should be moving forward with this alone?”
“On the contrary, I’m absolutely sure that I shouldn’t be. But I have to.”
“Why?” says Scher. She cocks an eyebrow at me.
My Batmanhattan slides suddenly to the left and clatters to the floor. Across the inn, the barmaid glares at us.
Scher, looks at me. “That was clumsy,” she says.
“That wasn’t me.” I move around the bench and pick up the tankard.
“What do you mean it wasn’t you?”
“I mean I didn’t touch the cup. It moved on its own.”
“Unless the virus introduced telekinesis or that plate had a reddit account, no, Easy, it didn’t. You must have bumped the table by accident.”
I take a closer look at what’s left of my drink, but it’s just a normal drinking stein, except that someone had scraped off an old logo so it didn’t break continuity. I half expected to find a piece of invisible fishing line taped to it, and to hear a gang of kids sniggering.
And I feel a slight pang of recognition. Ryan would play pranks on me sometimes. Nothing malicious. Once, I sat down at my desk and moved the mouse to wake up my computer, but nothing happened. After confirming my computer was on and trying again, I lifted the mouse to find a sticky note with “LOL OWNED” taped over the sensor.
But, Ryan didn’t emerge laughing now, and if I didn’t figure something out, he never would.
In the distance, a horn sounds. One long, low blast. All around, the paladins, Drow, Aragorns, all lift their heads and stare at the door.
Scher says. “One blast, raiders returning.”
Then a second blast. This time, a hush falls over everyone in the bar, and their eyes turn toward the door. The bartender has frozen in the middle of filling a mug of ale. The dim noise of the TV playing the /rpg feed is the only noise in the tavern. The paladin at the bar lays a careful hand on the pommel of his hammer.
“What is every-” I say, but Scher shushes me.
The seconds pass. Everyone silent, expectant. Someone mutes the TV. The patrons turn to each other as if asking a question that only I am not privy to. Then, after a beat, a barbarian tosses back a mug, gives a loud belch, and pulls a gigantic plastic axe off of his back. “Let’s go kill some orcs!”
The rest of the group cheers and a dozen fighters charge out the door after him, unholstering whatever weapons they have.
Scher’s face splits into a grin. “Okay kid, you wanted to know what we do in /rpg. Let’s get you a level up.”
“Wait, what? I still don’t understa--”
Scher races around the table, grabbing my wrist and dragging me out the door, thrusting my pitchfork into my hands.
By the next day, the swelling in my face has gone down enough to make me look human again, though my wrists are still raw and sore from the cuffs, but my karma buff has never felt more useful.
I spent the night on a cot in Eon’s quarters, one of the loft suites, just down the hall from Salt’s penthouse. It’s the r&p equivalent of a corner office. Like Salt’s room, the place is lavishly outfitted with a decadent fireplace, rich mahogany floors, crown moulding, and chandeliered lighting. It’s a room made for bearskin rugs and leather armchairs, but Eon keeps the place spartan. A bed, a cot for me, a chair and a small table to eat at, and a closet full of unworn clothes. It feels like a hermit’s guest room. Often cleaned, but seldom occupied.
There’s a knock at the door and Eon sits up at once. “Come in.”
I doubt either of us slept last night. This uneasy cease-fire between us doesn’t allow for that much trust, but it’s apparently important to Eon that he at least pretend to.
When the door opens, a young man in a green jumpsuit enters pushing a cart with a tray, thermos, and a cast iron skillet on a hot pad.
“Just put it on the table, Roth.”
I look him up and down. He’s a teenager with a smattering of acne across his forehead, beaming as he places everything on the table and sets it for two.
Roth says, “Morning, sir. Fresh eggs, toast, coffee, and I took the liberty of bringing the morning paper.” He finishes, brandishing a rolled up copy of Frontpage Today.
Eon takes the paper and unfolds it on the table, poring over the headlines with pursed lips. “Thank you, Roth. That’ll be all.”
Roth gives us both a wide smile and backs the cart out of the door.
“What the fuck was that?”
“That’s Roth.”
“Yeah. Why was he bringing you breakfast in a green jumpsuit?”
“Green means he’s low threat. Low karma.”
“He’s a prisoner here?”
Eon sighs, taking the lid off of the tray and piling breakfast onto our plates. Eggs on buttered toast, and a cup of coffee. It beats the hell out of the MREs we ate on the road.
“He used to be /allguardians. A battalion tried to jump us last May. Him and a couple yellows lived.” I brought them back to The Fortress.”
“Green, yellow, red jumpsuits, color coded to the threat level of the detainee. Greens can generally be trusted with freedom of The Fortress. Reds and yellows require a bit more supervision.”
Eon rolls his eyes, finally digging into his toast. It makes me feel less like a sell-out about eating now that he is. I pour myself a cup of coffee with extra cream and sugar just so I can remember what they taste like.
“Sleep well?”
I shrug. “Close enough. Doesn’t look like you can say the same.”
Eon cocks an eyebrow. “What makes you say that?”
I point at my eyes. “Dark rings under your eyes. Afraid I’d make a dash for it while you slept?”
He shrugs and takes a bite from his own plate. “I thought you might try, but I wasn’t worried you’d succeed. One way in, one way out unless you jump off the roof, and there’s no way you’d get through that big fucking door, nor the barred and shuttered windows, and definitely not the thick cement walls.”
I know he’s right, but you’d never know this place was a bomb shelter from the inside. Every surface seems like it’s made of expensive lumber. Knowing O’rourke, it’s probably some trendy reclaimed oak from the deck of a decommissioned frigate or something.
I lift my coffee and blow the steam from the top and take a sip. When I speak down into the mug, it reverberates softly, distorting my voice. “Why are you even keeping me here? You can’t possibly trust me to help you after what I’ve done. And what I’ve seen you do.”
“Actually, Z, I do trust you, absolutely. You are one of the few people alive that I trust to make the best decision you can with the information that you have. I’ve been following your posts to the utopia project long before the virus. I know what and how you think. My mistake was that I didn’t give you enough of that information to make a smart decision. That’s going to change soon.”
“Oh yeah, how’s that?”
“You checked Frontpage lately?”
“I can’t. You took my phone.”
“Right.” Eon takes his phone out and sets it on the table between us, face up. I can see him navigate to the Frontpage news feed, and find a link.
Breaking News, /rapeandpillage destroy /aww. 30+ redditors slain. Animals slaughtered in their pens.
I look up at Eon and rub my eyes. “That… can’t be right.”
Eon clicks the link and an article replete with photos of bodies, human and canine, opens.
Two days ago, all communication out of /aww abruptly ceased. After receiving no response to several urgent communications, maxwellhill dispatched a cadre of /allguardian troops under the command of _vargas_ to investigate the blackout, who confirmed that the subreddit was massacred in a matter of minutes.
/awww is the first subreddit to fall since /minecraft months ago, but the move comes as a surprise to many in /allguardians that previously thought the subreddit safe due to its neutrality in the war. Its brutal massacre indicates an increase in hostilities from /rapeandpillage, and makes the peace talks between maxwellhill and violentacrez seem like little more than a political sideshow.
Eon swipes down slowly, photo after photo of dead dogs, dead cats, dead people. A woman with brown hair in a maroon sweatshirt, one arm outstretched, a spilled bowl of water in front of her. The guy with dreadlocks face down next to a bag of bullet-ridden dog food.
“I can confirm that this was the work of /rapeandpillage,” said _vargas_, “on account of how the people and animals here have all been raped and/or pillaged. It reminds me of how difficult it was to masturbate before the internet was invented. My family was strict Southern Baptist, and pornography was never allowed in the house, so I was often forced to resort to extreme measures in order to get my rocks off. For instance, I once cobbled together a semi-realistic fuck doll via assorted animal meats and leftovers from dinner. What I really needed to complete my Fuckenstein’s monster was a pair of cured hams for the breasts, but as I said, growing up in a strict Jewish Orthodox household meant that I had to steal these hams from my gentile neighbors, and…”
“Damnit, _vargas_. That guy is like the Bozarking2 of this generation. There’s like zero continuity between his stories.”
“I’m pretty sure that Bozarking was the Bozarking of this generation.”
“What do you mean was? For all we know, he could just be another of Bozarking’s pseudonyms. They have similar styles.”
“Doubtful, Bozarking died in /duelingcorner before the sub was outlawed.”
Eon puts down the phone and looks at me.
“Ok, so what about 4chan?” I say. “All those bodies… how on Earth could those idiots have possibly missed that? We left a cemetery of anons back there.”
“I frankly don’t think they missed a thing. This isn’t the first time something like this has happened. /minecraft and those assaults on Frontpage’s gate weren’t us either. But just take a guess who they blamed it on.”
“Horse shit. If that were true, you guys would’ve posted about it by now.”
“Oh yeah?”
Eon slides the phone over to me. “Go for it. Reply with whatever you want. Tell the whole of /all who really slaughtered those animals. Tell them what we did. Tell them we have you, if you like.”
I raise an eyebrow and lift the phone. Android, like mine. I tap the screen and the reply box opens, the keyboard swooshing up, the cursor blinking. “What is this, some kind of mind fuck again?”
Eon skewers a piece of sausage and egg and shovels them into his mouth. He’s not even looking at me.
I tap in,
EasyDarceeny, lainaoag, they are holding me at Freepage. They know about /rpg. Stay safe.
I hit send. The small loading circle twirls once, and then my post appears. In a moment, Sarah and Laina will get notifications that they’ve been tagged in a post. I trust both of them to intuit who sent it, and that Eon and the goon squad will soon be on their way. It’s not much, but it could keep them safe if indeed they’ve moved forward with the plan.
“Get that all out of your system?” says Eon. “Get word to your girlfriend about /rpg?”
“Sarah’s not my girlfriend.”
Eon raises an eyebrow. “I was talking about the OAG. Who are you talking about?”
Eon shakes his head. “Whatever. It doesn’t matter. Why don’t you check your post again, just to be sure. But from a different account.”
He watches as I log in not from his account, but my own. I check the thread again, and scroll down for my message, but it isn’t there. I hit the option button and press Find, but again, nothing comes up. I look at Eon. He takes the phone back from me.
“That account you posted from, that was a throwaway I made to prove a point. It’ll be shadowbanned now. You think you’re posting, but you’re blocked instantly. All our people, our known affiliates, all shadowbanned the instant we reply to mod messages like that in any of the main subs. Took us awhile to figure that one out. Some of the poor bastards were on their main accounts. There one second,” he snaps his fingers. “Poof. Ghosts the next.”
“They’re banning you?”
“Not just me. All traffic from users associated with Freepage. That includes all traffic coming from here, anyone that’s active on our subreddits, and anyone that posts the truth about your friends in Frontpage.”
“Why would they do that?”
“Because, they’ve established themselves as a government, and they’re doing what governments do. maxwellhill, Grace Hall, and I’d suspect most of the top mods and members of the /allguardians. They’ve got control now. Our agents tell us that they’re collecting information on everyone in Frontpage, assigning ID cards.”
A cold, creeping recognition reminds me of the ID they gave me when Laina brought me into Frontpage for the first time. How Martinez and the guards at the gate had to wait for it to clear before allowing me into the city. Someone or some program in a dark room at the /allguardians HQ in Frontpage, sifting through my post history for /rapeandpillage affiliation. How they took my weapons. “Yes, but… those were safety measures. To make sure I wasn’t one of you.”
“Would you have given them that kind of information for any other reason?”
“I don’t know. I’d want to know why they wanted to know.”
“But you were willing to because of us. The great boogeymen of /all. Because of an omnipresent and shadowy threat that you didn’t understand.”
I bristle at this. “I understood enough. I’ve seen what you all have done. With my own eyes.” I can remember the woman in /washingtondc, who blew herself and her child up in the dumpster behind the Franklin School. I remember Eon strangling the last breaths from Patty Boleslav. I remember the look on Laina’s face as they dragged her out onto Route 42.
“Some of our citizens are responsible for that, yes. Let me show you what you haven’t seen, Z. Let me show you what Frontpage doesn’t want you to know about.”
Outside, the bar patrons are facing down a group of shirtless nerds with green body paint. No more than a dozen on either side, with steel helms and what seem to be fur diapers. A few of them have neckbeards, but many are either too young, or simply can’t grow them. It’s like looking at those old fat guys that go to football games with their team’s name painted on their bellies, just 20 years early. One of them is carrying a crudely drawn banner that reads “On Your Pwn Head Be It”.
“Who the fuck are they?”
“Low level orc guild,” says Scher, reaching into her robes and producing a roman candle and a smoke bomb.
“How can you tell?”
“Damn girl, look at their gear. They ain’t even got any armor on. Just poke one of em with your pitch fork and we’ll get you the XP.”
“You want me to stab them with a pitch fork?”
Scher rolls her eyes and reaches out to flick one of the tines of my pitch fork and it wobbles like it’s made of jelly. “That thing’s a stage prop. You ain’t killing anybody with it. You’d only use a real weapon if the R&P’s was attacking. Those guys don’t fuck around. But they blow three horns for that.”
“Wait, we might’ve been attacked by the R&P’s and you gave me a fake pitchfork?”
She turns and races off just as the Orcs and the bar patrons charge toward each other.
The barbarian gets there first, whirling into the oncoming “Orcs” with a fantastic twirl that looks absolutely amazing and accomplishes absolutely nothing. The Orcs swat at him with plastic swords and he manages to tag two of them with his axes in return before dropping it, and yelling, “Agh, I am slain!” and popping a ketchup packet on his chest while dropping to the ground.
I pretty much immediately understand why Ryan decided not to actually participate in LARPing in real life.
Our tavern brawlers smash into each other, fending off the attacks with makeshift shields, and prodding at each other with nerf weapons.
As the melee ensues, a quartet of Orcs break through and charge Scher and I. Scher pops her roman candle and it starts spouting little harmless sparkballs, hitting one in the chest and sending the others diving in all directions. “Aw hell yeah motherfuckers, come get some!”
Two of them climb to their feet and get their shields up, advancing on her. The other looks at me, grinning around a pair of fake tusks that don’t look nearly as good as the type Scher does. He comes forward screaming, “Victory or death!”
I ready my pitchfork. “Um…”
In spite of my role with Patton’s crew in /washingtondc, I am not exactly a fighter. My goal as a scavenger was always to predict and avoid standoffs with the R&Ps, and determine when someone I came across was a real person, or another monster in a human suit. Being a quick study and a quiet, mildly karma-buffed person helped, and most of the time James and I didn’t have to draw on anyone, let alone fight them with sticks and spears. So a 20-something with green bodypaint charging at me screaming isn’t exactly my cup of tea.
“Victory or death!”
He closes the distance between us in a few seconds, and even though I know that none of this is real, I can’t suppress a thrill of panic at the prospect of getting smacked around by a dork with a foam axe.
“Um!” I lift the pitchfork and decide I’ll dodge out of his way and take a stab as he passes.
There’s a soft PLAP and the Orc slides to a stop in front of me then turns around, groping at his back. A plastic arrow with a wad of electric tape on the end dangles from his shoulder blade.
“Is that an arrow?” he says.
I walk up and pluck it from his back, bringing a few fine hairs along with it. He yelps then turns back to me. I lean around over his shoulder, and spot the archer, watching me. She’s slim, with a pale face and brown, mousy hair. She barely nods, unslinging another black-headed arrow.
“Aww man,” says the Orc. “What kind is it?”
“Um, the… fake kind?”
He takes the arrow, lifts it and stares at the shaft. “Level 1. Ugh, I can’t believe I got killed by some noob again.”
“Sorry. I guess.” When he hands it back, I read along the shaft, ‘Level 1 non-magic arrow.’
“What’s this stuff mean?”
He sighs. “The writing on it says what level and kind the arrow is. That’s how I know how much damage it does.
“How much damage does a level 1 non-magic arrow do?”
“5 health points.”
“And how many health points do you have?”
“So why does it matter what kind of arrow it is?”
“It doesn’t it would just be cooler to get killed by a level 25 lighting arrow or something one time. Those have little sparklers on them. Listen, can you at least put the ketchup on my back? I can’t reach that spot.”
“Yeah, sure.”
“Sweet. Thanks.” He fishes around in his loincloth and pulls out a packet of McDonald’s Fancy Ketchup.
“Uh, on second thought, maybe you should just do it yourself.”
When the battle is over, the paladin and a priestess run around resurrecting the fallen. I’m told this has to be done within a window of time, or the ’s character dies permanently, and they have to roll a new one.
The innkeeper plugs all of our names into his phone and shortly thereafter, I get a message from GMBot.
Congratulations on your recent victory!
You have reached level 2.
You may choose:
1x Class Weapon (Melee, Common)
1x Class Weapon (Ranged, Common)
1x Magic Item (Common)
1x Trinket Slot Item (Common)
10x Copper Coins
Please see your local Kingdom quartermaster for your reward. (This offer available at participating kingdoms only. See quartermaster for details.)
“Come on,” says Scher. She tosses the trash from her spent pyrotechnics into the roaring hearth in the inn while the other survivors make loud toasts at the bar and leads me out to a dirt path.
As night falls, we’re not the only ones on the road. A steady stream of travellers in full costume walk the road. A knight in gleaming silver, a Khajit leading a mule and cart. In the distance ahead, lights glimmer through the trees, and I can hear the muffled sound of music.
“I need to restock my spells. 25 copper is barely going to cover my reagents.”
“You got 25 copper? I only got 10.”
“10 for the battle, and five per head. You didn’t kill any orcs.”
“I almost did. But some archer girl shot him right before he got to me.”
“Man, I hate it when someone KS3’s me.”
“I wouldn’t say she did that. She might’ve saved me.”
Scher snorts. “You cannot be looking at it that way. If some scrub ass Orc wannabe charges at you, you take his ass out. Don’t be waiting around for some other motherfucker to take your XP and gold.”
“I would’ve if you’d given me something better than a pitchfork!”
“You were level 1. You get a pitchfork. Those are the rules. And trust me, you don’t want to get caught breaking the rules in the Dice District.”
“Why? What happens? Do I have to start a new character? Or, no, let me guess, I have to spend a day in the stockade in the middle of town?”
“It depends which kingdom you’re in,” says Scher. “And how bad the offense is. Karma King might just dock you XP or gold. Other kingdoms are a little more… colorful. One guy was cursed and was only allowed to speak in Miley Cyrus lyrics for a week. The King of Deep Feels exiles the really bad criminals to the Lonely Wood. If they make it back by the next morning, all is forgiven. Nobody’s actually made it back yet. I mean, not all of them. And worst of all, The King of Googling Things sets your default search engine to Bing if you really screw up.”
I’ve heard of the Lonely Wood one time, on /wtf 6 months ago. Someone had posted a picture of a body, nailed to a tree, with its face ripped off. I’d thought that it was a fake, or some repost from /fearme, but apparently I was wrong. “He actually sentences people to that? That’s disgusting.”
“I know, it’s rough, but after a month, he lets you set it back to google.”
“Not him! The King of Deep Feels. That’s not fair. That’s… barbaric.”
Scher fixes me with a strange look. “Are you seriously surprised by this? Have you been living under a rock for the last year or something?”
“I mean… yeah, pretty much.”
Scher stares at me, apparently unable to decide if I’m joking.
“The metro in /washingtondc. Like literally underground.”
“Easy, if you haven’t noticed, the world is pretty fucked up right now. People kill each other. We’re under regular attack from /r&pg raiders that want to kill us for what we have. Electricity, food, clean water. I know our customs here seem like nonsense, but this place runs on pure, uncut, high octane nonsense. And it works. We’ve got food, shelter, an economy. When some guys try to steal from the /rpg royal coffers, or /r&pg raiders take down a kingdom, the big shots have to have a way to deal with that. Something awful, so people don’t do it. The King of Deep Feels might seem cruel, but his kingdom is actually one of the most fair we’ve got. So when I tell you to obey the rules here, I mean it.”
“Got it. I just… think we’re better than that.”
Scher sighs. “I hope one day, we will be again. But until then, we sit back, we enjoy what we’ve got to enjoy, and we spend the fuck out of our hard-earned copper pieces.”
A smile creeps back onto her face and as we come out of the other end of the forest, it’s clear what all of the hustle and bustle is about. A lake, littered with floating walkway rafts, bobbing gently as hundreds of roleplayers walk the paths and alleys between shops and bars and traders. It’s a bazaar of medieval delights, lit by torches and lanterns glinting off of the water. /rpg guards in full Lorica at every entrance.
“Welcome to the Keep of Deep Feels, Easy.”
/rpg has settled many conflicts in this manner, quashing two separate rebellions
Bozarking, sometimes referred to as “the Doctor Who of reddit,” gained fame in 2011 for this comment, and coined the term “nonsexual and silly.” Due to his sudden fame, the juggernaut soon after deleted his account, though rumours of his occasional reappearance under a different username have led many to believe that he is still out there. His legacy is best described by zebrake2010:
Bozarking......I was a Redditor then, too, before the refugees of Digg turned Reddit into an Eternal September.
Bozarking could appear in a thread about the Make-A-Wish Foundation giving someone a trip to Disney and turn the conversation into a tale about the time he did unspeakable things with a family member during a winter holiday in northern Michigan.
His presence lingers on Reddit, flashing in odd comments at odd moments. I have more than once demanded from a user whose comments made me particularly queasy if they were or were not The Bozarking, lurking now under new identity.
What's more, Reddit actually voted him user of the year 3-4 years ago. At the height of his power, his notoriety exceeded karmanaut's multiple identities. Strong was the Reddit with him.
I hope he has found peace.
Shortened version of "Kill Steal"; A term used on MMORPGs to describe the act of barging in to kill a monster (or other enemy) that another player had been fighting first and receiving the XP that rightfully belonged to the first player to engage the enemy in battle. KSer: one who KSes; KSing: The act of commiting a KS.
"If you don't go find your own monsters and cut out the KSing, I'll be fragging your ass next time I see you "
submitted by SimpleRy to rvirus [link] [comments]

Poke-IV - an open source IV marking Windows application

So recently I've been delving into the world of perfect IV breeding in Pokémon OAS and X/Y. As people will know, it gets tedious fast; especially if you decide to IV mark all of your breedjects, before trading them on to others. I personally make it a habit to give away any spare 6 & 5 perfect IV Pokémon, especially when it comes to Wonder Trade Wednesdays. With all that in mind, I made a thing!
What is it?
It's called Poke-IV. (Screenshot)
It's a free, open source Windows application that allows you to note down any perfect IV stats whilst you're being told them by the stat judge in the Pokémon videogames. To begin with I developed Poke-IV for personal use, but figured I'd might as well share the love and publish it for free. It makes use of a range of settings and keyboard shortcuts to help make IV marking a little more streamlined for any time you're breeding/ marking in bulk. The application also has a built-in tutorial to explain the ins and outs of breeding, as well as how to use the app itself. Although there are no current plans to develop the application for Mac, I might continue working on the application and make it available for other operating systems later on.
Where can I get it?
You can download the stand-alone .exe file here: link
Although there's nothing malicious (just a painfully simple application, zipped with some boring legal notice stuff), when you run the app it'll probably be flagged by Antivirus software. So far I've only tested it with Avast which puts it in sandbox mode, but then gives it a big ole' thumbs up. It should all be safe, but make sure to scan it just in case.
You can also view/ download the source code on github (messy code, read at your own risk!):
[github link - coming less soon...]()
What can I do with it?
This software is licensed under the Apache License v2.0... so you can do almost anything you want with it! You can use it, sell it, distribute it and modify it, all free of charge. The only thing I ask is that you give credit to the original developer (me), and that you include any relevant notice/ license files if you plan to develop it further. You can even use the name "Poke-IV" if you really want to. At any rate, please post here if you find any bugs or if have any feedback/ suggestions, or alternativley message me privately.
Something else...
In the "help" section of the application I briefly touch on perfect foreign Dittos, and how when it comes to catching one you don't stand a whelk's chance in a supernova. I have since learned about a few subreddits dedicated to distributing free perfect Dittos, which some friends of mine have verified by getting their own Dittos from them. However, I wouldn't wholly recommend it; any perfect foreign Ditto is pretty much guaranteed to be hacked in... So yeah, be careful. I won't provide any links, but if you Google search "perfect Ditto reddit", you'll probably find what you're looking for... somewhere near the top of the page... wink wink
Finally, anyone who has a fair amount of money to spare (about £100), check out this Youtube channel and find out about the awesomeness that is the "GamePRo" programmable robot:
Nooby's Youtube channel -
I'm personally waiting for the "New Nintendo 3DS" models to come out, but the regular 3DS/3DSXL models are already out, and available for purchase. There are a number of scripts allowing it to automatically do IV marking/ shiny breeding, and it can be programmed to do much much more. 11/10, will buy.

Boring stuff:

Poke-IV is a free open source Windows application, licensed under the Apache License v2.0, and was built with the programming language c# in the compiler Visual Studio 2010. It uses the .Net Framework 4.0, was developed for Windows 7, and should (hopefully) work with Windows 8 and Windows 10 as well (please let me know if it doesn't).
Poke-IV is in no way officially licensed by, or affiliated with the Pokémon franchise. Pokémon, and all Pokémon trademarks, logos and names are owned by Nintendo. Any reference made to the Pokémon videogame franchise within the Poke-IV software is under fair use for the sake of user research. All other content in this software should be clearly distinguishable from the above mentioned trademarks, and copyrighted materials.
submitted by 9bjames to pokemon [link] [comments]

To re-enable the keyboard, simply go back to the Device Manager, right-click your keyboard again, and click "Enable" or "Install." Related coverage from How To Do Everything: Tech : Computer keyboard shortcuts for windows pc are very useful for laptop users. Computer Keyboard shortcuts for improving typing skills and useful for Minimize the active window Window logo key+Up arrow Maximize the active window F11 View the active window in full screen We are using Affiliate marketing for earning money to maintain this Since the invention of the start menu, keyboards have had the Windows key (also known as the Winkey). This is a physical key with the Microsoft Windows logo embedded on keyboards usually on the left of the keyboard which is linked to the Start Menu, so when you press this key Start menu opens and if it doesn’t open the either the Start Menu or the Windows button is not working. Windows Logo Key + Up Arrow: Maximize the window. Windows Logo Key + Left Arrow: Maximize the window to the left side of the screen. Windows Logo Key + Right Arrow: Maximize the window to the right side of the screen. Windows Logo Key + Down Arrow: Minimize the window. Windows Logo Key + Home: Stretch the window to the top and bottom of the screen. Find & Download Free Graphic Resources for Keyboard Windows. 1,000+ Vectors, Stock Photos & PSD files. Free for commercial use High Quality Images

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